Wednesday, July 13, 2016

For My Mom...

A funny thing happens as you get older...

You start to really appreciate those around you, your friends, co-workers, your significant other and your family.

The ones you want in your life, you make the time for them, you show up and put them first. But sometimes it is really hard to make time for the ones you love, you stop calling as much, showing up and things go a little off course....

For me....

its my relationship with my Mom.

Seriously my whole life we have butted heads. She says right, I go left. I say the sky's blue she tells me it is black. We are the same but different.

If that makes any sense whatsoever.

We fight at least once a phone call..

even though I live 1300 miles away.

We argue when we are around each other,

even if its once a year.

That is us!!

But as much as we fight and argue, there is no one in this world I would rather have as my mother...

She is funny, caring, sweet, Crazy, loopy, strong, curious, Determined, impatient, annoyed at the easiest things, she listens (sometimes) lol, but she has a heart of gold.

She drives me up the wall and keeps me grounded.

As my 31 birthday approaches, I am looking back on my first 30th year.

Yes, I am making that a thing and it was great.

I had lots of fun and I have GROWN a lot this year. I know my 30's will be my best years, but I did not grow my relationship with my mom.

We kind of got away from it all. See life happened and there went weeks we didn't even talk.

And when we did, well we fought.

I was not a great daughter. I should have called more, sent more texts of I love you. Posted more of how much I loved her. Should have sent my Mother's Day gift on time. I should have made more of an effort this year. I should have given her 100% not 50%.

It is hard living 1300 miles away. Some days it is really tough, not having my mom around. She is the one person I need when I am sick. The person I cry too when I feel like death has won over.

Losing a parent, like me losing my dad is tough on the other parent. I know I put my dad on a pedestal now that he is gone. It is hard to describe or explain, but I know my mom feels it. I don't love my Dad anymore than my mom, if anything I love my Mom even more now that he is gone.

Because she is all I HAVE.

I am an only child, and she is my mom. It is her and I in this world.

I have to remember that.

So going into my 31 this year, I am giving a gift to my Mom.

Yes Mom, you are getting a gift!

My gift is to love you like you love me!!

You love me despite my mistakes and my successes.

Despite how crazy you make me, well I am just going to keep on loving you.

I promise to call more, text more and post to Facebook more. I know you would love that one the most. When we are visiting, I will take more time for us. I will sleep over at your place. I will not complain, I will compliment.

I will send you more thinking of you and they will be on time.

Mom, without you, there would be no me.

I wouldn't have a birthday. I wouldn't have my drive for success. I wouldn't have my strength.

I would not be Angelina Louise Allerton, without you!

I am you and you are me and together we are Mother and Daughter.

Thank you for bringing me in this world and making me, well ME.

I love you now and always!!

The greatest gift you have given me, was being my Mom...