Thursday, February 5, 2015

Not What I Wanted To Hear But I Can Deal

Today I went to the walk in clinic to get my ankle and foot checked out at. As you know, last night I had a really rough night of sleeping. I couldn't fall asleep or stay asleep. I was hot, achy and just 100% agitated. I just wanted to fall asleep or it just be morning and I could get a move on.

We got to the clinic right when they opened and they were already busy. We ended up waiting over an hour just to be seen.

This guy right here has been a real trooper. His day off and we are up early to go to my appointment and see what is going on. He was cranky like me this morning, it was rainy and I know he didn't want to be there. He is over it just as much as me, but he is sticking it out with me, for which I am grateful.

We finally took off my splint and I did not know what to expect underneath all the padding. I wasn't sure how my foot was going to look, I knew it wasn't going to be pretty because it still hurt a whole bunch.

As you can it is still very swollen. The doctor even said it just doesn't look right still. And even when I try to stand on it or bend it in anyway it is very sore.

I expressed how much I hated the crutches and how the meds were making me angry and I was just not myself. I hated just being confined to the crutches and not doing anything. He explained it is just the process, when you are an on the go person like myself, this will have a huge impact on you. But you have to rest to get better or it wont heal properly.

He did give me a walking boot to wear now..

I am so happy to have the boot because at least I can walk around for a bit. Not a whole lot because it still hurts but I mean I was able to go to the store afterwords which was a plus.

We went to Ihop for breakfast because again it took forever after the doctors and I was starving..

Egg whites, turkey bacon, avocado and pancakes. Simple under 600 menu and it was delicious!! And just what I needed after the blow the doctor gave me.

With my ankle came restrictions. I can't lift anything 2 pounds or heavier, I cant squat, climb stairs or ladders, I cant drive, I can't stand for more than 15 minutes per hour. And that one was the icing on the cake, which would mean I wouldn't be able to go to work.

I know it sounds crazy but I want to be at work. Valentine's Day is coming up, it is a busy time for us. I want to be there and helping and having a successful holiday but with payroll and because we tend to work single coverage, I knew it wasn't going to work with the company and they would keep me out until I did my follow up and he lightened up my restrictions a bit.

Which that is what work did.

He also said I can try light walking in about 2 weeks and running 6-8 weeks. That blow killed me. I have Gasparilla the end of this month and I really want to go. I need to participate in some shape or form. I am hoping if I give my all to this healing now, that I can maybe, just maybe walk it at least. I have been really upset all day. It hit me hard.

I am back to the apartment and just laying around. I cant drive anywhere and with James working, he can't take me anywhere. We went shopping a bit at the grocery store today, so I could get some fruit and it felt amazing to just be out. To just be in the air and around other people, but he didn't want to be out long because it was his day off, so it was cut short. I felt so upset inside and I know it is childish, but this is so new to me.

I go and go all day long, I get high off endorphin's and now I have none of them to push me through and I know it is hurting my mood. But I am trying, really trying to see the glass half full, but right now I want to just curl up in a ball and just have a good cry.

But a good glass of wine will do.

This did come in the mail today and it made my life so much better..

Nanci sent me the sweetest get well, thinking of me card and it was just what I needed with a little Starbucks gift card. I couldn't have been happier to see this and receive it. Her message inside brightened up my day and during this week, while I am bored and feeling down, I will look to her message to get me through.

I am so blessed to have a friend in Nanci.

So that is where I am at right now. The good thing, it could be worse, its not broken, I just have to mend it back.