Happy Hump Day!!!!!!
So this post is about to be totally random and all over the place, but I have just gotten back from a Travel day of work and I am all jacked up on Iced Coffee. FYI, McDonald's has Iced Coffee any size for a 1.00. I am all about being cheap and I got a LARGE Sugar Free Vanilla Iced Coffee for a Buck, that bad boy was 5pp but it was tasty and got me through my no AC, hot as hell drive home in traffic today. That is the only reason I would ever go to a McDonald's anyway.
Any who, as you know I am all about my marathon. I mean for almost 4 months now we have been talking about. Talking about my training, what I am eating, what I have been running, my XT, etc. I haven't really been talking about how it is making me feel, well I guess, I have but not in an intimate way I suppose.
Here's the real, honest deal and with the fact that my 20 miles in coming up on Sunday, I am sure I will be even more emotional. This training has changed my life.
I know, I know, cliche, but seriously it really has. I have been running not even two years now, but I never stuck to a true plan. I would run here and there, run long runs on Sunday's and just do some exercise in between. If I wasn't feeling some mid week runs, I didn't. I never had a plan in place, just a date in mind. I was just running.
This training plan has changed my whole outlook on things. I have realized in myself that I am so much more structured when I have a plan in place. And I will make sure I will stick to that plan in order to get things done. Because honestly, I am afraid to fail. I know I will make it across that finish line, if it kills me. And seriously my boyfriend thinks that is what is going to happen to me. He is so scared, it is making me scared. But I have to push that aside and carry on because I know I wont let that happen.
This training has transformed me into someone who really enjoys working out. I enjoy the feeling I get from it, I enjoy being a part of a community. And even though I run alone 90% of the time, I never really feel alone because I have made so many virtual friends and virtual friends that have become very good friends, Nanci that's all you girl. I have been given a support system and cheering crowd and I honestly don't think I would ever have experienced that in my life if it weren't the fact I am training for this marathon.
In reality the whole thing scares me. It scares me that I don't know the route, or the weather, what to wear, what to eat, how I should pack, anything. I am going into this marathon blind, BUT prepared. My body, mind, soul and especially heart will be 100% intact. And I am going to be running with all of my heart for sure.
This training has made me so strong. Stronger than I have ever felt or been in my life. I mean I can run for hours and not feel bored or annoyed. I have learned to overcome obstacles and frustration and I have learned to dig deep. All those mornings of getting up early, nights of not wanting to work out, the tired feelings I have all the time. I know it is going to be worth it.
My mom said to me today, are you scared or nervous, how do you feel? And I had to stop myself and say, nervous for what? And she said the race...
I thought for a moment...
I really am not scared. I am excited and to be honest, I don't want it to be here yet, not because I don't feel prepared because I am nervous what it is going to be like after the marathon. What will I do then? What challenges will I face? What else can I take on, after I have taken on the biggest thing in my life? Where do I go from there?
It's funny to say, but I want to be training forever. Training has given me a purpose and a desire. I know a lot of people are probably sick and tired of me talking about the marathon, all day, every day, but hey this is a pretty freaking big deal and it is all I think about.
Literally every day, I think about the marathon, multiple times.
I am not sure where I am going with this post or what is about, but I just had the desire to write about my training and how it really has transformed my life. While, 20 miles is scary, I am so happy and excited that moment is coming up.
59 days left...